Masami Life [Finished]

[Marx Nightmare]

Paragraph Count: 13

PT 1: Bloodshed/Savagery

Although Masami was infinitely better than Detroit, Marx was finding it difficult to getting adjusted to life here. Masami contained to source of electricity at the time so life here was similar to life in a deserted island. He slept on the soft grass every night with a rough, gray blanket on. Although the blanket was itched like wool, and was kind of heavy, Marx had little to no problems falling asleep after a couple days of sleeping under it. Marx tended to simply stare at the night sky silently observing the floating island above the mainland. He continued to ponder on how he had even come to this land, and even more so, why he was here in the first place.

Marx tended to wander around the forests surrounding Kazuki's Burrow and Aniwa Falls. Because of this, he and Princeton communicated little besides the times when they ate with each other. Marx never tried socializing with Princeton, usually he came to him to talk for the most part. The only times that Marx ever directly came to him was to ask questions about Masami. Marx knew that Princeton was trustworthy, but he seemed to have a mind that was several years behind his actual age; he seemed just way too childish for a young adult.

Kazuki was very childish, trying to gnaw on Marx's boots whenever he could. Kazuki was enjoyable to hang around due to his innocent nature. Although Kazuki was young, his knowledge of Masami was quite admirable and very helpful to Marx. He quickly learned of the fruits and plants that were safe to eat in Masami, and he even learned of the secret cave behind the Aniwa Falls.

Food in Masami was always gathered and hunted. Because Marx had to rob stores in order to obtain even the smallest morsels of food, he didn't mind it so much. In fact, hunting for food was quite fun for Marx. For the most part, he went out into the beach to simply gather mollusks and attempt to spear a fish. Usually, Marx failed at this task as water in Masami had the same properties as it did on Earth; that it refracted light as it passed through. Fruits, assorted plants and different meats were the main parts of the diet here at Masami.

Once in a while, Marx would come across a boar-like creature in the woods. They would have large, silver tusks and have long gray fur. Their faces would be covered in warts and their hooves were very sharp. Their ears were what caught Marx's eye at first however. They were shaped like triangles and each were about half the size of the boar's head (about 1.5 feet long, a foot wide and 1.75 feet high.) These boars also had thin, yet long tails with no fur except at the very end where there was just a simple gray lump of fur.

Marx was taking a small walk around the forest near the entrance of the Sakkaku Caverns one day when he found one of these odd boars. Marx knew how observant boars were back on Earth and how violent they can be. He took Princeton's Katar for a moment to sharpen up a wooden stick to go hunting with. He laid on the soft, cold dirt and started to slowly crawl towards the unsuspecting creature. The boar sniffed at the small, red flowers surrounding some trees as Marx prepared for the kill. Marx wondered what Masami boars tasted like; would they be anything like the ones back on Earth.

Marx was ten feet from the boar, he could start to smell its pungent odor. Five feet from the pig. Three feet from the boar and Marx noticed that it had noticed his presence. It suddenly turned sharply and stared at Marx with a vacant expression. With that, Marx pounced on to the boar's back and forced it on to the ground. It squealed and struggled violently; Marx was barely able to keep the pig pinned. Marx grasped the wooden spear tightly and thrust it on to the pig's neck. The pig screamed into the deep forest, and collapsed silently on to the cool ground, dead. Marx felt exhilarated, his blood pumped at a fast rate. Marx did not have this kind of fun for years.

After Marx finished the gruesome task of gutting the dead boar, he pierced the body from head to hind with his spear and carried it back to Kazuki's Burrow. Kazuki helped Marx build a fire to cook the boar. Marx went back into the forest to gather some edible plants. He wondered if he would make a spice to add flavor to the boar. After getting a spiky fruit and some red flowers, he mixed the ingredients together. The spiky fruit's powdery innards and the red flowers created a pink powder with small chunks in it. It looked good enough to eat so he stored it next to the area where the boar was cooking.

As the meat cooked, Marx headed out into the Aniwa Falls to cleanse himself from his encounter with his prey. As he washed his body, he started to think about the event that had just happened. Am I becoming more barbaric? When I killed that pig, it felt...fun. I never thought that killing something would feel so good. Am I becoming a savage. No, I still have my rational mind. As long as I can rationalize my actions, I should be okay. Besides, I killed for food, not for the fun of it.

Marx returned to Kazuki's Burrow and saw that Kazuki had knocked the meat down. When Marx found Kazuki, he was gnawing on the boar's foot. Kazuki looked up and smiled innocently. "Ha Ha. I didn't think you'd come back so fast. The food looked so good, I couldn't help myself." Marx shook his head and laughed. Kazuki was way too cute to be annoyed at. He was quite the comical character. Marx didn't mind that Kazuki had knocked the boar down; it probably was going to overcook anyways if he didn't knock it down.

Marx tore off a chunk of the boar's charred flesh and took a large bite of it. It was very chewy and quite delicious. Marx then took his spice and poured a little on to the pork. After rubbing it in, he took another bite. Marx turned blue and spat out the piece of spiced meat. It tasted like black licorice and urine mixed together (Marx had the misfortune of finding out the taste of urine when he was at Middle School. He thought he was drinking lemonade given to him from classmates.)

Marx turned around and saw Kazuki laughing."What's going on? You didn't stop me, so nothing I ate had to be poisonous!" gasped Marx as he continued to spit out any remainder of the tainted meat he had just ate. "Those red flowers weren't poisonous, they're edible, they just taste like puke! I knew you were going to eat them, and I couldn't help myself from seeing your reaction knowing how dark of a person you are."

Marx glared at Kazuki but then gave a small smile and sighed. He couldn't stay angry at the little fox. He was way to innocent. Also, he made everyday at Masami fun with his comical, if immature, shenanigans. After Marx and Kazuki had their bellies filled with pig, Marx decided to keep the partially eaten pig under some small embers just so it would stay warm for when Princeton comes back from wherever he went to. Life in Masami was an exciting thing, and Marx could not wait to start exploring the unknown regions of this mysterious land.

[Marx Nightmare]

Paragraph count: 8 (total 21)

PT 2: The Storm

Marx decided to head out again. He decided to visit the beach where his adventures on Masami had began. Marx
had not been to the beach since he had first arrived on Masami. He felt the need to go and look out into the vast ocean once again. He went though the Sakkaku Caverns and started his trek through the forest. It took a considerable amount of time, but he eventually found his way on to the warm beach once again.

Barely anything had changed here since Marx had first came here. The sand on the beach was warm and fine, the ocean was vast, light blue and reflected the sun's shine beautifully. Marx collapsed on the beach and laid there silently. Birds flew through the skies gracefully while singing beautiful songs. Marx couldn't tell if it was simple chirping, or if it was actual singing. Marx chuckled these thoughts. Marx shoved his hand into the warm sand and lifted it off the ground. The sand smoothly fell from the spaces of Marx's hands.

The skies were painted with large, gray cumulonimbus clouds and with wisps of cirrus clouds. Marx knew that a storm should be coming within a day. If the meteorology of this world was anything like Earth's, a storm should most definitely be coming. Marx didn't know if Masami storms would be anything like the ones on Earth. Would they be normally be as violent as hurricanes, or would they be simple drizzles that massage the face as it points to the heavens? Marx didn't feel it was smart to brave the possible hurricane, so he stood up, brushed the sand off of his black robe and started to head back to Kazuki's Burrow.

Marx noticed on his way back that there was barely any movement in the forest. Normally, there would be so much commotion within the forest that it would even annoy Marx slightly. Now, Marx couldn't see any living thing move. There weren't any birds flying around anymore, there weren't any land animals wandering around, nor were there any calls by any animal of the kind. The only things moving that Marx could see were the plants from the wind's push. Marx began to grow wary; animals back on Earth tended to change in behavior when something huge in nature was about to occur.

Marx eventually found the entrance to the Sakkaku Caverns, but not before a violent bolt of lightning struck a tree near Marx. The loud, crackling explosion lifted Marx off his feet and pierced his ears painfully. Marx flew and crashed into another tree. Marx gasped and fell on his face. He staggered on to his knees slowly and saw that the struck tree had burst into flames. Marx was shocked that the storm had come so soon. The weather here seemed to change more rapidly than weather from Earth.

The burning tree let out a groan which quickly turned into screams. The tree began letting out loud crackling noises. The tree tumbled down towards a fatigued Marx who rolled out of the way quickly. Suddenly, another bolt of lightning struck down right next to Marx; it was so close that Marx could feel the intense heat that the lightning gave out. Once again, Marx was lifted off his feet. His ears were temporarily deafened as he could barely hear anything. "What the hell is going on? It feels like something is trying to kill me! Man, I cannot die here, not now!" Marx pushed himself as hard as he could and he miraculously was able to sprint into the Caverns. He collapsed violently as soon as he went in.

Marx gasped for breath. Thankfully, his encounter didn't seem to have any lasting effect on his hearing since he could hear his own breathing quite well. Marx looked out into the entrance and saw that a downpour had started. Thankfully, the burning tree was put out so that there was no chance for the fire to spread. Marx noticed that the rain was falling nearly sideways, so he expected that a powerful wind also existed. Marx wished that he had been more decisive; he could feel that he had bruised himself quite a bit, especially on his back. Marx felt lucky that there wasn't any lasting damage. With that, Marx laid on to the cold, cavern floor and fell asleep instantly.

Marx woke up with a fresh start. Oddly enough, the cold, hard cavern floors were quite comfortable to Marx. Marx decided that this would be the area where he would sleep every night. Kazuki's den was too small to accommodate Marx when both Princeton and Kazuki where already taking up enough space as it is. Marx yawned and scratched his back and walked towards the entrance to gather up some firewood as to start up another fire for another day on Masami.

[Princeton Hope]

Really good. You got the main idea of the RP system. This was well written, and was a good story. You had grammar mistakes here and there, but who doesn’t?

One piece of advice I will give you, is in the wording of some long sentences. Like the two I’ve given:

“Although the blanket was itched like wool, and was kind of heavy, Marx had little to no problems falling asleep after a couple days of sleeping under it.” --- you made this sentence a bit too wordy, and it could be reworded to make it better.

“Usually, Marx failed at this task as water in Masami had the same properties as it did on Earth; that it refracted light as it passed through” --- Again it could sound quite better. There isn’t a reason you couldn’t reword it in a way that makes it make more sense.

Other than that, I don’t have any sort of complaints. Good job buddy here’s your rewards. Any admins got a prob with em, talk to me personally.

I will edit your profile accordingly


Coins: 77
Exp: 21

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